BACK COZ I HAD TOO! MY FINGERS WERE ITCHY!

whoaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!............its bein a while since i've been here i think since last year dec 3rd.......long time missed dis joint a lot......so no excuses!....bruv been busy but still in london!....so i don't wanna bore u with what i was doin or where i was past year......all i can missed my blog n its back to business......this my only place to let out so i'mo let it all out!!!

i just opened up my email today n i found one those nigerian con mails i know I’m not the only one getting the e-mails. They start out something like:

Dear Beloved,

Due to the sudden death of my husband Lassana conte the late the head of state of guinea in DEC 16TH 2008, I have been thrown into a state of hopelessness by the present administration.I have lost confidence with anybody within my country.I got your contacts through personal research, and had to reach you through this medium. I will give you more details when you reply. Due to security network placed on my daily affairs I cant visit the embassy so that is why I have contacted you. My husband deposited $12.6million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is witheld for now till we communicate. I will be happy if you can receive this funds for safe keeping and I assure you a very good percent of this fund I will instruct my son to contact you so please feel free to comunicate with my son. I await your urgent response,

Hajia Mariam.

NOTE:

PLEASE I WOULD WANT YOU TO SEND ME YOUR CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT MY SON LAMINE CAN CALL AND DISCUSS WITH YOU VERBALLY REGARDING THIS TRANSACTION SO THAT YOU CAN ASK ANY QUESTION THAT YOU FEEL LIKE ASKING REGARDING THIS TRANSACTION.

This leads me to wonder many, many things if it were legit by some stretch of the imagination. Like, what in the Hell kind of research did you do to find my name to handle your money?! You’se a goddamn fool if you think you can give me $12 million dollars and expect me to just hold it for you. I’ll give a Nigerian hit man $200, and a pair of size 12 Timberlands to have him take you and your son out, then keep the rest of the cash for myself. I will pull a Charles Taylor and go into exile while still spending YOUR money. I mean for Christ’s sake, have you not u not done u research about me. Obviously not, because if so, you’d know that I would take advantage of your dumb ass, then write about it on here.

Secondly, since you’re getting your son Lamine to contact me, why can’t you just give the money to him?! What? Is his credit bad? If that’s the case, you might not want to trust me with your money, either. I got a “Don’t let me catch your ass in the street” notice from a bill collector just yesterday. I might not be the financial whiz you need handling the late President's fortune.

Third, you really don’t want my cell phone number or my bank account. You will be a pissed off Nigerian widow if you expect to get any money out of my account. That’s like trying to squeeze water out of a rock. Not happening, hoe. I should kick your ass for getting my hopes up and gettting me to thinking about what it would be like if I actually had some big cash right now for you to steal.

Besides, I don’t answer international calls, unless it starts with 254(ke) or 252(s). Hell, I rarely answer calls from the countries when I don’t recognize the number. You think I’m going to answer some shit with more than 15 digits? Bitch please! .......ooh so sorry i think i gettin' a bit carried away its just a fuckin' scam!......n 4 a minute i actually thought i was talking to her......am getting paranoid this days...right?

That felt gooder i had to let out!!......now i have to find soma giza bomba....veve....khat!!...........have a chewing day!