Declaration of Independence at work

The subject on my mind today is, how to communicate my extreme independence to the Powers That Hire New Faculty....... realized this week from talking with other friends about their labs, just how umbilical cord-free I've been, and for sooooooooo much longer than most of my peers.

I realized this is one of the key things that really sets me apart from most radiologist(except that junior doc labelling), and that it's also the most likely thing that no one knows about me. I realized that I previously had no idea what most people assume is typical for a radiologist of my age. (I still really think the ageist bullshit is hurting me).

Now that I have some idea, I gotta say. No wonder they didn't want to hire me. They really had no idea what they were missing out on. How could they?

One friend widens her eyes when I vent about what I think of as the usual stuff. It's irritating, because I frequently feel like I'm the only person who wants all the equipment in lab to work. I go out of my way to find manuals, call companies, get repairs done, etc. I'd like to think the reason I do this is because I appear to be the only person who cares that I need to use it. I never thought of this sort of venting as anything close to shocking, until she told me that the look of horror on her face was because this is the first she's heard of anything like it.Wallahi i know if i dont do my analyses with uttermost care it means someone might loose their life yet they say i'm obssesive.

Another friend said something I've heard now and then from the rare, truly empathic souls, and it goes like this:

"God, just imagine how much you could get done if you'd had access to all the resources and help I've had all this time, while I totally took it for granted. Squandered it, even."

Well, yeah. I choose to take it as a compliment, though I'm sure he didn't squander it at all, since this particular friend seems to have his shit together. (Figures that he wants to go to industry).

So, assuming that I've finally homed in on an important missing variable in the application equation, and on the off chance that I take time out to do any musculoskeletal applications this year, what's the best way to make sure people know about it?

I'm pretty confident that all my recommenders used the word 'Independent' in their letters for me in the past, which evidently didn't really get the message across. Is there another word or phrase that would carry more weight? Dashboard Thesaurus suggests "self-reliant" and "self-sufficient", which both sound pretty good to me.

Would a better turn of phrase help?

As I think I've mentioned here before, someone told me that my letters were probably missing the "catch phrases" that apparently only PIs "in the know" would... know about. This person said they basically have to make it sound like you can walk on water. I'm pretty sure my recommenders would have said that, and in so many words, if they had known that was what it would take. But they're none of them very experienced at placing computed Tomography (CT) or arthrography , at least not in the US. So having a list of Required Wording to give each of them might help.

I'm sure having more funding would help, but it's a catch-22, because radiologist aren't allowed to apply for money without letters from their "advisors"... I can't tell you how much this catch infuriates me, because it means I have to hunt down my advisor, and several levels of admins, consultants, and business officers, to get signatures, etc. Which is really stupid when it's just at the stage of submitting something, but they don't let you send it in without getting permission first.....how about it was life and death matter?....i still don't think so the NHS system is so strict with its bureuacratic bullshit that by the time a patient get's know what's happenning the tumour or whatever it is has already developed more.......this makes me helpless!!

It's so bad, that recently I had to apply for some safety clearance for my own patients, as you're required to do periodically. Because the diagnosis is technically said to be from my advisor, my name is not listed anywhere on it! But I did all the paperwork,all the scan's, made all the phone calls, with NO ADVICE WHATSOEVER FROM MY ADVISOR... as usual.

So tell me again, if I have such little chance of getting to prioritise impotant(most vulnerable) patient's in the first place, why make me jump through hours of shitty hospital hoops just to be allowed to see patient's as soon as possible....DAMN WHITECHAPEL n NHS!!!

Argh. Just thinking about these ridiculous restrictions don't know what i can do or just do as they say in swahili "fuata upepo"(follow the winds direction)!!!