Why Me, Dammit?

For those who haven't heard these before, I'm going to tell my two stories of getting approached by gay dudes out here in LONDON. Not that I have anything wrong with gay people...Just leave me out of your "lifestyle activities" and we're cool. These took the cake, though.

Story #1: The Gym near piccadilly.


I've started working in whitechapel london and decided to join the nearest gym to my area. The Ballys that I joined is located right near piccadilly, which is a part of town with a large, affluent gay community(dont but this is what i'm told be fellow workers at hosp). So basically, 65% of that gym is hot women and gay dudes. The rest are regular straight gymgoers such as myself.

So one day, I'm setting up a curl bar, getting ready to do some standing bicep curls. I've put about 30 pounds on each side, so it wasn't really heavy at all. As soon as I lift up the bar, this one guy with a thin beard down the middle of his chin runs up to me in limp-wristed fashion and says "You OK? You need a spot?"

Now this would have been cool had I actually needed help, but it was my first rep on my first set. Plus, dude was standing so close to me I could feel his breath on my upper lip. I don't like ANYONE in my personal space like that...so I yelled out "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! GET AWAY FROM ME BITCH!"

So dude backed up really quickly, and said "I just thought you might want a spot"

To which I replied "I'll ask you if I want a spot. No get the fuck outta here."

Then some other dude was like "That gay dude was all up on you! I don't blame you for calling that bamma out. I'd have dropped the weighs on that nigga's foot"

Believe it or not, the stories get worse from this point forward...


Story #2: The Serenade

This story is the worst one. I was coming from the laundromat one Sunday morning after having worked all Saturday night and just staying up to get my clothes clean. While I'm waiting at the bus stop, this old guy who looked like ReRun from What' Happening came over where I was and sat down to wait for the bus, too. The guy was trying hard to make conversation, but I was tired so I kept giving him responses like "Uh huh", "Yeah", Nah, and "Alright."

When I did finally turn and look at ReRun, he looked me dead in my eye snd stared at me longingly. I was thinking to myself "I KNOW this motherfucker didn't just give me a look?!" but since I wasn't sure, I just let it go.

Next he says "Say man...have you ever heard that song by Mint Condition called 'Pretty Brown Eyes'?"(WHO THE FUCK R THEY FIRST?)

Then the fool proceeds to break out into song, right there at the bus stop. I mean, singing his heart out with passion and conviction. Singing like Tyrese was singing to that bottle of Coca Cola in the old commercial that used to come on. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I stood up and said "Motherfucker, are you SINGING to me?!?!"

Dude tried to save face and was like "No...I. uh, wasn't singing to you. I just wanted to know if you knew the song"

For real, he doesn't know how close he was to catching a beat down...If anybody else were out there to witness that, I would have had to hit the guy, just to save face and make sure folks knew that I had nothing to do with that flagrant display of punk assedness.

I hope these amused you all. Hopefully, I won't ever have to update this with another story of being approached in that manner...LOL.........but british asses r to in ur face .............DAMNNNN!!!