Rants of an angry somali man

Just everyday shyt that bothers me....and probably you, too.....basically its mumbles and rambles i ramble to myself....i hope i can release them all here

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Homeless Man nearly Stole My Date!!!

Recently, thanks to Myspace, I caught up to a very cool and very attractive lady that I went out with a few years ago back in columbus. She found me on there thanks to my sister's crazy conections. I'm glad to know that she's doing well, and still Lord Have Mercy fine as all get out of town....But it showed me of what may have been one of the most humbling experiences of my adult life: Having a homeless man almost steal my date from me.

Miss Hanisa and I were in edgeware road, leaving one of the lebanese restaurants after breaking fast.After having done maghrib prayers, We talked, we laughed, and everything seemed to be going great. Then we went outside, and it happened.

We leave the restaurant, and this homeless guy is outside the place. He sees Miss hanisa and I walking past, and he starts singing that Rod Stewart song, "Some guys have all the luck" while doing a little shuffle. It was funny, so we both started laughing as he approached.

The Homeless Ladies' Man then said, "I don't mean any disrepect, but I have to tell the young lady that she is very beautiful. She is a walking flower. Lovely. Delicate. Graceful. Her grace is the personification of the marvelous heavens above" or something to that effect. I can't remember exactly what he said, but he actually made it sound smooth as Hell. Much better than the crap I just typed above.

Then the man recited lyrics of romantic poetry, and Miss Hanisa was eating it up. She was just smiling and telling him how beautiful his words were. I tried to play it cool, but inside I was like "NOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?! I CAN'T COMPETE WITH THIS HOMELESS GUY!!! HE'S TOO SMOOTH!!! HE'S GONNA TAKE MY DATE!!! I CAN'T TELL ANYONE A HOMELESS MAN STOLE MY DATE!!! ESPECIALLY A WOMAN THIS FINE!"

I had to keep it inside, though. I figured the worst thing I could do at this point was to show that I'm actually considering the possibility that my date might slide a homeless dude her number...Or have him write down what alley he was going to be in later that evening to set up some sort of moonlight rendezvous. It was a no-win situation, so I just tried to think of something romantic or smooth to say. It was no use, though. That guy had already stolen my thunder.

So once the homeless man stopped making love to my date's mind, he got down to business and asked for money. He didn't ask like most folks, though. He challenged us to name any country in the world and he'd name the capitol city. Miss hanisa chose Japan and Canada, and The Homeless Ladies' Man named the cities. I figured I'd throw him a curveball and choose a country from The Motherland to try and catch him off-guard.

He asked me to name one more country, and I named "NAMIBIA."

Homeless Ladies Man replied, "Windhoek."

That was when I gave up. I gave dude like 8 or 9 pounds, which is more than I've ever given a homeless man. Partially because he was so entertaining. Mainly so he'd go away and leave my date alone. Either way, he left a more lasting impression on her than I did that night. I hope they never actually went out...

i can't believe it that was an eye opener!......or was it some sought of ramification coz i should have been doin taraweeh instead of bein on a date......either way saturday was a crazy day!!


At 3:52 PM, Blogger Firefly said...

LoL...that man must have been a woman-magnet before his rough-sleeping days, maybe during as well. You were shown up, dear. Tut...

At 5:14 PM, Blogger Flower.of.Chaos said...

So once the homeless man stopped making love to my date's mind

That made me chuckle.

And breaking your fast on a date? LoL.

At 5:15 PM, Blogger Flower.of.Chaos said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:04 AM, Blogger S.Girl said...

This post is sooooooo funny. I can't find your e-mail on your profile. Can you e-mail me? I wanted ask you about contributing to a magazine. Thanks!

At 8:05 AM, Blogger S.Girl said...

http://gosgirl.blogspot.com is our blog. My e-mail address is GoSgirlVa@yahoo.com

Looking forward to hearing from you!

At 8:23 AM, Blogger KKK said...

This is what I call quintessential progressive Muslim who without opprobrium shares with the people at large his iniquitous escapades. Well done! Aleylahe inaad xorowdey:)

At 12:37 PM, Blogger Nekessa O. said...

Lolz.... priceless moment... I will now look @ homeless men a lot differently. I shud let one serenade me ;).. Can u imagine a homeless man slicin u in Nai? Anyways, it was an eye opener.... chics, we r such suckers for erm romantic poetry ;)

At 6:35 AM, Blogger Rant's of an angry somali man said...

firefly..... he is even till now can't believe how smooth he was

FOC...i had to because she insisted n i'm a sucker to pretty ladies simply could'nt resist her!

SGIRL....i'll try get in touch with ya n thanx 4 the compliments

JIDALI....thats why its called a blog a page where i can express myself with holds at all....thanx bro!

MAUA....lemme tell ya yaani huyu beste sijawahi cheki mwingine ka yeye karibu apite na manzi yangu usiki!!....i dont understand how u ladies can be swept off ur feet with wordz.....was trying too imagine ka ningekuwa nai yaani mabeste wangenicheka style mmoja noma sana!...

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