Rants of an angry somali man

Just everyday shyt that bothers me....and probably you, too.....basically its mumbles and rambles i ramble to myself....i hope i can release them all here

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tribute To Osman!!

The City of london will be losing one of is't most respected an esteemed citizens very soon. My friend moving is moving back to columbus. So in honor of this, I feel I should say a little something about this brother.

Actually, let me tell you a story that symbolizes the greatness of that man...

*Myself, Osman and Shish were coming from the Asian Carryout with the distinctly American name...Danny's if memory serves me correct. So I buy some General Tso's chicken, Shish buys a single Benson and Hedges cigarette and lighter with a glow in the dark weed leaf emblazoned on the front. Osman, himself having bought a bean pie and a Final Call newspaper from the brother with the 3 piece suit standing on the corner in the middle of July, didn't buy anything. So when we get to the door, osman says, "Man, I can't believe y'all eat this shit. You know that stuff is bad for you

Unfortunately, one of the people behind the bulletproof glass window heard him bad mouthing their business establishment. So the chef and about 15 of his cousins and nephews come out to the front and say "Don't you bad mouth us...I cut you son of bitches"

So osman, being the street smart cat that he is, quietly says, "Brothers, this is no time for words, only action will get us out of this one. WE GOT TO BE KUNG FU NIGGAS!"

Me on some black MacGuyver shit again, saw and old man with a cane and some orthopedic shoes on trying to watch everything in the corner. I tell Shish to cause a quick diversion, which he does by doing the Harlem Shake on a tabletop. I go up to the old man and say "Run your shit, nigga! Gimme that damn cane and those orthopedic shoes!"

I then proceed to tie the shoelaces together and throw them to Osman, which he starts twirling like some nigga nun-chucks. Then I throw the cane to Shish, who is quite upset that someone tore his "Kool" cigarette T-shirt. Do you know how many proofs-of-purchase he had to mail in and how many cigarettes he had to smoke to get that shirt? Let's just say that he was pretty damn angry. I didn't have any more weapons at my disposal, so I just started slap-boxing motherfuckers with no remorse. I think I accidentally slapped Osman one time during the chaos, but he forgave me because that's the kind of brother he is.

So once the Carryout was ours, osman decided to throw a neighborhood cookout with all of the food inside. We even forgave the chef and his family and let them eat some of the cheeseburgers we took out of their freezer.

Without osman, our fearless leader, The Battle At Danny's Carryout may have been a catastrophic disaster.

So, I bid farewell to an icon of style who was even one those people who convinced me to come this side of the planet!

a man who will call you a bastard to your face if you don't agree with him

a man who battles racism at every stop in the road. And calls out black leaders on their bullshit, too.

a man strong enough to drink diet soda and not be affected by the nasty aftertaste

a man who knows cigars better than a Cuban tobacco farmer named JuanCarlos!!!

the man who coined the phrase "Magical Negroes" describing coonery in popular entertainment.

a modern-day Al Bundy, but with a better job

And a role model to the children.

OSMAN.......I salute you!!




*Note...although inspired by something that happened to me at the carryout, some aspects of that story are just a little exaggerated. Others, however, are pure bullshit and never happened. Just so you know ;)........farewell osman i know u'll read this!

2 Comments:

At 4:29 PM, Blogger Firefly said...

Well, I wish your friend a safe journey.

Happy Eid!

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger somaliwomenbloggers said...

from London to Columbus, what a sad trip. compared to my favorite city, LONDON
Columbus is TUULO and I mean it literally. Brother gota do what he gota do, right?

 

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