Rants of an angry somali man

Just everyday shyt that bothers me....and probably you, too.....basically its mumbles and rambles i ramble to myself....i hope i can release them all here

Friday, November 03, 2006


i've had af free day from the hustle's of whitechapel today......alhamdulillah!..... so i decided to call back home nairobi of which i miss so much.....could not find anyone home coz it's a weekday and still midday down there only person home was the maid and one of my nephew's khalil......proceeded to ask how come he's alone at home.......he told that he was bitten by a dog on wednesday afternoon while with his friends from school i laughed out loud coz this reallly flooded back my childhood memories of how i used to be terrorised by neighbourhood dogz.

Growing up, I had a friend in the neighborhood named Abdikarim. His nickname was KayKay so everybody in the neighborhood knew him by that name. Well, KayKay had this dog named King...a big German Shepherd with a mean temper. As a matter of fact, the dog got the name King because he ruled the neighborhood with an iron fist.

Well, in King's case, I guess it was an iron paw, but back to the story...

KayKay and his dad Umar never kept that psycho dog on a leash, and rarely chained him up. The thing about King is, he would attack only when HE felt like fucking with someone, so you never knew what to expect. Abdikarim tried to sick him on me one day after I beat his ass over one of our many arguements, and King just walked over to me and nuzzled up against me, letting me pet him and shit. kaykay was like "GET HIM YOU STUPID DOG!" Two weeks later, that dog chased me and my cousins for two blocks in a ferocious rage for no reason. I barely escaped. One of my cousins ran head first into a tree branch trying to get away and damn near knocked himself out. He's lucky King was mainly trailing me, because that would've been his ass.

Otieno, our neighborhood's version of the Village Idiot, wasn't so lucky. King's bit the shit out of his ass when he was little. He still has a scar on his head to this day from where King got him.

Although King never bit me, he did get to someone close to me. My pet rabbit Toto. My sister and I ended up getting a rabbit from town called eldoret , and my older bro built this nice outdoor cage for him. So one night while everyone was asleep, King breaks open the cage and killed Toto. Didn't even leave the body. Just blood and dog hair on the side of the wooden part attached to the cage. The hair proved to us all that it was King's evil ass that killed my pet rabbit. Ultimately, vengeance would be mine, though.

Fast forward to about two years later. I'm on my bike, pedalling down the street, when all of the sudden, King comes charging at me full speed like a bat out of hell. I'm not going to lie, I was scared shitless. I just started pedalling for dear life, disregarding stop signs and everything else but Satan's Hound of the Damned that was literally right on my heels. I got about two blocks with that dog still in hot pursuit before I realised that I had no choice but to take desperate measures. I took my left leg off the pedal ind kicked the living shit outta King's, right in the face. All I heard was a loud "AAAAAARRRRRRFFFFFF!" but I refused to slow down. I did it so quick, that I didn't even break my stride on the bike. When I did look back, King was way off in the distance walking around. I slowed down a bit, but kept on pedalling just to make sure I was in the clear.

Thankfully that summer, Animal Control put King's ass to sleep. I know they say all dogs go to heaven, but I KNOW that bitch is burning in Hell somewhere. Probaby chillin in the Devil's backyard eating the grass and shitting all over the place like he used to in KayKay's yard.

damn!!......call it memories.......just had to write it!!!...........


At 10:33 PM, Blogger Litigious one said...

""I know they say all dogs go to heaven, but I KNOW that bitch is burning in Hell somewhere. Probaby chillin in the Devil's backyard eating the grass and shitting all over the place like he used to in KayKay's yard.""

LOOL, very funny.

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Maua said...

my guy, it has been a minute since I last visited you... ehh, lakini that dog story ROFLMAO!!! Though never bitten by one of those Kenyan mongrels, such were what stuff my nightmares were made of!! Our neighbors bred and trained three german sherpherds that they let lose at night, trust me not even the kids cud go near those dogs... only the zaks and the "trainer"-- one Juma...

So as we hang out in the eve, we cud hear them growling and bearing their teeth through the fences... . Thus my fear of dogs, and no u will not find me petting a dog! no thank you!

At 3:52 AM, Blogger Rant's of an angry somali man said...

litigious!....thanx for ur comments!

maua.......usiki niko na story mob sana ka hizo....dem dayz i look back back i find it so funny....on dogz king made me swear never to have a dog near me.....whenever a dog gets an eye contact with i start suspectin it saying "maybe his the grandson or daughter wa king's"....he may decide to do as his ancestor used to do.....u may never know the unpredictability that was a common trait with king's maybe be passed down through gene's.

At 12:20 PM, Blogger Maua said...

LOL!! u r hilarious!!!


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