Stop Being A Tease!

Alright! That's IT!!! I'm tired of you doing me like this! To let me get a taste of something so good, something so right, then just take it all away...It's just flat out evil. How could you do it! How could you just play with my body and my emotions like that?!

I can't lie, the last week or so was really good to me. It's been awhile since I've experienced anything like that. You made me happy. You inspired me to do things I haven't done in months...Then you flipped the script on me. I wish you'd stop being such a tease!

I'm speaking to Mother Nature, of course.

I really got used to that nice, warm Spring-like weather that we were experiencing in the London area. The weather went from 18 degrees on Wednesday last week, to 3 or 4 degrees on monday n tuesday with heavy rain and sleet. There were even a few snow flurries. Mother Nature pimped us all! She took us from "I bareley need a jacket" weather, to "Break out the scarf, hat and heavy coat" weather.

Can you blame me for being a little emotional? For a guy like me who hates cold weather with a passion, that little taste of an early Spring had me ecstatic. Finally, I thought, something good had come from the so called global warming! The only way I could have been happier is if I had been given a job traveling the country as a judge in barebecue rib competitions. Yes, unlimited goat meat was the only thing that could top that wonderful Spring weather.

Yet, Mother Nature decided to deliver an open-handed slap in the mouth to all of us in the London area. This must be what it feels like to have sex with someone you just met, and then wake up to an empty bed...Or even worse, an empty bed, and a dresser with a £10 bill on it. That's how Mother Nature made me feel. Now, let me get back to work and take my mind off this cheap, cold, empty feeling that I'm left with...

"I got this ice-box where my heart used to be...I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold"


oohh no i don't have to go i haven't been bloggin' for a while so i'll write something about my life at work.........aight!?

An edited version of fei.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to have some kind of outlet, so that as I am told to conform, conform, conform at work, I can continue to be ME ME ME somewhere else.

I was pretty un-selfconscious about starting this blog, but then the trials of this radiologist getting outed in his department and other bloggers sharing their various tracking techniques have made me somewhat more concerned for remaining anonymous. Which makes it less fun.

See, there I go, I just started to edit that last sentence frag, but it's hard to do the Allen Ginsberg first-thought/best-thought method of writing when you're contantly on the backspace key correcting your smaller mistakes... it's easy enough to just keep going and take out anything incorrect or otherwise, you know, personalized.

Lately I feel like a shell of a person, probably because I spend too much time worrying about my image at work. I dress differently from others at work(i'm not that keen in to wearing suits and all that unless its a must)so me being feisal i'm still into slightly sagged jeans(not that british rudeboy style where they pull it under their ass) my workmates usual say i'm cool but i know they r fake compliments deep down the despise for being different , keep different hours than I want to, and try to watch what I say to everyone, all the time fuck dem british. I edit emails over and over until I'm sure they're short and to the point and don't contain anything that could be perceived differently than how I intend. And I hate all of it. I've dropped most of my hobbies for lack of time and energy, leaving very little of anything I enjoy or identify with...

Sigh. I never wanted to be one of the people who had a 9 to 5 job and then some lame hobby horse activity in the evenings or weekend warrioring, but the older I get, the more I can see why people do that. Separation of church and state. And a chance to be something other than a cardboard cutout imitation of who you wanted to be when you started out..........................i'm OUT!!!