Rants of an angry somali man

Just everyday shyt that bothers me....and probably you, too.....basically its mumbles and rambles i ramble to myself....i hope i can release them all here

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I'm in a Ranting Mood Today!!

Wassup you all ya. I wanted to share a list of things that pissed me off over this long week. Maybe you feel the same way or maybe not......aaahh its up to ya!!

1 - IKEA furniture - Have you ever bought some shyt from there that you had to assemble? Good Luck!! Your furniture comes with some directions written in Swedish. WTF!! Just a piece of paper with a mf pointing at the shelves, and another picture of that same mf pointing at an empty spot in the living room. With a mf smiley face.....like, "wasn't that easy?" Fukk you, Swedish mute bytch!!

2 - Ice Cream truck items near whitechapel - You should NEVER be able to buy soft serve ice cream and a pack of malboro's at the same time.thats shit!

Yeah, Valentine's Day has passed....which made me think - It's expensive as a MF to have a girlfriend. Now, I might lose the females on this....but don't take it personally. It's just my view. We still friends. The fellas will understand what I'm saying.

When you sit back and think about it, having a girlfriend will break a mfs pockets!! All your expenses have to be multiplied by two, cuz how DARE she pay her own way. Then there's the extra gas to and from their house. Basically, don't even think about getting a girlfriend if you can't afford those bare essentials. Then there's other shyt like:

Gifts: Between Valentine's Day, birthdays, Mother's Day (if y'all got kids), anniversaries, Christmas, and all the times we "FUKK UP"....this is enough to match your salary!! DAMN! My brother hakeem alwayz TOLD me to break up with her azz 3 days before major holidays. When will i learn?!

You've got kids meals, value meals, dinners on the run, lunch on Tuesday, let's have a night out, or....it's just us tonight, and all those mf meals that you ain't even gon' take part in. And all those times she gives you that "look" and says, "Baby, pay for this.....baby, pay for that". WTF. Just TRY to mention "going Dutch" to her.

Just last week, this woman in my office said she went on a date with this mf, and offered to pay. Then she was pissed that he took her up on the offer. She dogged dude like he wasn't shyt. But my question is, why the FUKK did you offer to pay if you weren't sincere to begin with?

i have to let it all out today!!!!.......

My socks and silverware - WTF is goin' on wit my socks? A mf is buying new ones almost every week. How da fukk do they keep turnin' up missing?! I always lose one. Where they going?? The mf dryer sock monster? I grab one out the drawer...and can NEVER find the mf match. And forks and spoons...i'm down to like 4 of each. It's like a mf is breakin' in at night just to hit me up for my silverware.

It's 2007, and I'm noticing a trend around my office. Whether it's in a meeting, or at the coffee machine, I seem to notice it. From women and men. MFs are sugar coatin' shyt


When did lying become okay? It's fine to just feed a mf a bunch of false hope? For instance, I heard this conversation in the hall.

Co-worker 1: I ain't heard from him since Wednesday of last week

Co-worker 2: Didn't you say he works 2 jobs....maybe he's busy. He'll call soon.

Co-worker 1: Yeah, you're right....maybe he's just going through something

See....WRONG MF ANSWER!!She needs to hear the truth.He don't FUKK with you!! Plain and simple.........stop sugar coatin!!........thats all!!


At 4:25 AM, Blogger kipepeo said...

wow! One heck of a week! I'm actually in sweden for a few months....never seen so much IKEA stuff in all my life!! But yes putting up IKEA furniture equates to nuclear science I agree.

At 6:26 PM, Blogger Nekessa O. said...

ON things that piss u most:
1)Never had trouble with IKEA... the only thing I hate about them is their store!!! I can never find the exit, doesnt help that I am not good at directions either!!
And I am not even going to touch the chile issues!! coz u know not all chicas are like that. watsmore marketing has heightened the idea that men should spend on women to prove their love. Watched the Kay Jewelry commercials? "Every kiss begins with Kay", they say. Wacha I look for it on youtube will come back and repost. (I guessed I more than touched on it, aye?)

cheers mate!

At 2:03 AM, Blogger Unyc said...

N all the MFs say amen!!!

That ws some rant...hehee

At 9:05 PM, Blogger Unheardphilosopher said...

why do I laugh whenever I read your posts....by the way I just started reading them so the word whenever should be crossed out...yeah, you cracked me up with everything of this post...from IKEA to F stop lying....where do socks go....Back in Kenya, we used to blame our neighbours for missing spoons but now we don't know who to blame to so we still say..Xamdi iyo ayeey ku maqanyihiin...cool rantings....you are quite a character....


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