Rants of an angry somali man

Just everyday shyt that bothers me....and probably you, too.....basically its mumbles and rambles i ramble to myself....i hope i can release them all here

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I Will Be Defiant To The End

I have killed.


Before any of you punk-ass snitches start alerting the authorities and checking to see if there's any reward money, let me explain. I killed a bug on Sunday over at my sister's apartment. This wasn't any old bug, though. This bug was unlike any I've ever seen. Picture a wasp, but imagine that wasp has been to prison and spent years on the yard lifting weights and smoking cigarettes. If any of you have seen the WWE wrestler stonecold, imagine that brother with wings and a stinger. That's what I was up against.

I can't lie, when I first saw that big, husky creature fly past me, I ran into the living room yelling for Audhubillah!!. I thought maybe I had finally crossed the line and Shaitan's black angels were coming to pull me down to Hell for all of my jokes against the shitties, the ignorant, and the smelly people of the world. When I looked back and realized it was just a big ass bug, I decided that it had to pay for it's intrusion, and for making me run like a bitch at my sister's place. It was going to be the wasp, or me. Someone was sending someone else to meet it's maker.

I really shouldn't have typed that last sentence, because now you know how the story is going to end. Since wasps can't type...Hell, even if that particular wasp could type, the motherfucker does not know my password or screenname. So since you know that I'm writing this, you know Mr. Wasp caught a bad one.

Mr. Wasp did not go down easy, though. I sprayed it with Raid flying insect spray to get it to fall to the ground. Once it was down and I spotted it, I took a flyswatter and struck down with GREAT VENGEANCE and FUUUUUURIOUS ANGER! I basically swung as hard as I could when I saw the wasp was down, hoping to splatter it on the floor. To my suprise, the wasp was still moving his legs, with a little bit of black blood(or whatever it was) over near the side of him. One leg was moving slower than the rest, as if to say "Is that the best you got?" It took three more hits from the flyswatter to effectively kill that jailyard wasp. The sad thing is, I was swinging on that wasp like I was in a real fight. Like I caught him trying to steal my wallet or something. That's what made it disheartening. All that aggression, and it still took four hits to finish him.

Still, I had to open up a can of "whup ass" and a box of "beat the black off you" on on that wasp. Animal Rights can kiss my ass. No way was I letting that thing live so it could sting the shit outta me or my sister. If they try to come after me, I'm gonna go off on the stand like Sam Jackson and be like "YEAH I KILLED IT, AND I HOPE IT BURN IN HELL!!!"

lol!.........just had to get that one ought!

2 Comments:

At 12:18 PM, Blogger Maua said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Maua said...

LOL!! Funny thing, jana we left pizza on the counter, only to come back half an hr later to find the place infested with a whole village of ants. I had no Reid and shit... ants gives me the chills, i just feel like they are climbing all over me.... So I decided to use bleach, and began spraying those ants... and then i got pissed off and took it out on one particular dudu... and my bro goes like, "chic, that's what we call overkill." (o·ver·kill =Destructive nuclear capacity exceeding the amount needed to destroy an enemy.)LOL!!

 

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