Rants of an angry somali man

Just everyday shyt that bothers me....and probably you, too.....basically its mumbles and rambles i ramble to myself....i hope i can release them all here

Saturday, November 25, 2006

london underground Strikes Again!!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, London Publlic Transportation has struck again. I have had many misadventures and comedic things happen on the Underground, so it never ceases to provide a source of inspiration for humorous stories to write about. Besides the bus, what other place on Earth can you see all of these things in one trip by itself:

A large woman literally slide out of her seat and roll onto the aisle like a roly-poly bug.........It wasn't funny until she did the universal "I'M ALRIGHT! I'm ALL-RIGHT!" sign by extending both of her hands out and downwards really quickly as she got herself together. It happened right near me, so I had to try to hold in my laugh as I picked up a couple of items from her bag and passed them to her. The lady across from me saw my smirk and noticed me looking away. She started chuckling, and that was it. I could hold it in no longer. I had to try to fake like I was coughing, but I doubt anyone believed it. Ah well.

An insane man's conversation with God. This very loud guy was talking to the bus driver about spirituality, and he said this quote: "Sometimes you just gotta talk to God and praise him. You just need to tell him how you feel. The other day I was at home and I said 'Hey God! F you!' I know I'm just this big and he's huge, but sometimes you just gotta tell 'em how you feel. God is good. Praise him!"

Now I don't even know what to say about that one, other than I hope I am not standing next to that man when lighning strikes his crazy @ss.

Getting shot down without even saying a word to a chick. The young lady that was sitting across from me when I first got on the train was cute. So when sat down, I gave her a little smile since I'm a flirt and that's what flirts do. She responded by smiling back, but then started messing with her phone and acting as if she were checking her messages or something. So I pulled out my newspaper and thought to myself "Ok. No flirting for me this morning. Let me look in here and see if this free paper (londonlite) if someone has beaten chelsea." Of course, they did not. west ham of whom i have a lil bit of a soft spot didn't manage to beat chelsea. It's never as simple as me opening up the paper and seeing this fucker's being whopped except that i find a lil bit solace MAN U leading the premier league.....back to my story

When I glanced up from my paper, I happened to see the girl faking like she was on the phone with someone. Unfortunately for her, it actually started to ring in the middle of her fake conversation. I just shook my head with an expression similar to the frustrated caveman dealing with discrimination then went back to my reading.

I didn't even look back at her to see if she was embarassed or not. I could only think: Was all that really necessary? Did I really look like I was going to bother her to the point that she had to talk to her imaginary friend and pretend to use up her daytime minutes? I should have said something smart, but I figured that her looking about as crazy as the conversation with God guy was karma's way of telling her she played herself.

Believe it or not, all of this happened within the span of a 15 minute train ride. As I said before, London underground never ceases to amaze me in the morning.


At 9:42 AM, Blogger Askinstoo said...

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At 1:40 PM, Blogger SleepDepraved said...

I hated taking the underground when in UK. One day this somali dude literally forgot to get off just cause he was trying to work up the courage to talk to me, I was busying reading a book. Finally, I looked up and saw his struggled and my expression must have softned cause he said hi. I talked to him a bit and he figured out I wasn't from the country and ish, then he asked me if I'm somali and I said I am half somali and half ethiopian and he literally got off at the next station. I laughed the rest of ride to my aunt's place. The other encounters were just plain ugly, not to mention an old dude making mouse noises to scare the F outta my friend, who begun to cry and climb seats. Someone should make a docudrama out of the whole london transportion ordeal. :)

At 12:51 AM, Blogger Monkster said...

For the guy talking to god, there are plenty in bangkok. They would wait for the traffic light to turn red and nearly turn green then walk to the middle of the cross path and start swearing or talking to god or themselves. I witness it when waiting on my bike for the light to turn green, heh i guess they are just finding a way to express thier sufferings.......sad but funny a black comedy.

At 4:04 AM, Blogger Rant's of an angry somali man said...

SD........4real i swear if one were to make a documentary about london underground it'll just be a box office number one.....lots of crazy stuff happen there.

wicky....didn't know this type of craziness happens even in bangkok.


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